How to...Stop arguing with stupid people

Well, in response to the inquiry on how to stop arguing with stupid people, it really depends on the individual you are dealing with and the circumstance you are in. Here are just some ideas...

1. If the "stupid person" is a family member, acquaintance, friend, it is important not to throw yourself into the emotional reel of the argument. We oftentimes perceive people as "stupid" when they attack our character, family, friends, etc while they are addressing other issues, such as their bad hair day, their job, their circumstance, whatever. Unless the argument is caused by something you personally did to the "stupid person", here are some things you can do...

A. Just listen, or pretend to listen. Ask him or her if there is anything you can do to help. Just be there.

B. If you are arguing about core beliefs, like the death penalty, religion, marriage, sorry, I can't help you out here. We frequently see people as "stupid" when their core beliefs are different from ours and I am sure that the feelings are mutual. One technique you can use is state, "I see where you are coming from" (whether or not that is true) and rephrase their concern/belief so that he/she does not feel that you are just being flippant, and then ask "but have you ever thought about it this way?" - then discuss the terrible things that people have done in the name of such beliefs. Then the "stupid person" will point out the irrationalizations of your beliefs. All in all, this is an argument that, unless the arguing individuals respect each other, these arguments are bound to get ugly and may end up turning into fist fights, bloody noses, and wars.

2. If the "stupid person" is a colleague, coworker, client, or supervisor, take much care into what you say and how you respond, and make sure that your response is work related, don't give any "your mama ..." responses. If they attack you personally, remain calm and respond by saying "I understand why you are upset and I would be too, but in order for me to help you with this situation, we need to resolve the issue." Granted, they may vent but help them stay on track. Do not use accusatory responses like, "Well, you should have known better". Get the facts, help them or get the right individual to help them, and follow up with them later.

3. If the "stupid person" is some random stranger, depending on the situation, you can...

A. Ask for his / her supervisor. If you are at a restaurant, do not pick a fight with the stupid person until after you have received the food. My husband used to work in the restaurant industry and have seen too many incidents where a customer's order was compromised by the waiter/waitress because of an argument. Do not jeopardize your food.

B. Give them the deer in the headlights look.

C. Ask them stupid, annoying questions. Revert to how a four year old would respond. Keep asking him / her "but why...?". Make sure that the tone and inflection of your voice reflect true interest. This is where acting experience comes in handy. Make sure that you are wasting their time as much as they are wasting yours.

I am sure there are many other ways to respond. I would love to see what other advice others have to offer.